don’t love her and let her go.
because one day you will only be blaming yourself.
because all the reasons you can think of why it wouldn’t work out- they don’t matter.
you would find yourself staring at a reflection of yourself in the mirror and wondering how she could see something beautiful in the monster you had become. you will find that you need her. you will miss her so terribly sometimes that all these ‘games’ you had played with every other girl you’ve met seem pointless now. you will meet others and all you would be doing is looking for a reflection of her in them. you, who thought could never change, find yourself wanting to be better for her. you find the distance between the both of you so intoxicating and so hard to deal with, and you try to close that gap with everything you can find: harsh words, ignored texts, and countless other girls. but there comes a point when you get tired from this game, when all you want to do is come home, to her, and forget the world. you want to give it all up and arrive in her kind and patient arms and tell her that you love her. that you are changed, that you are better, that love makes us better. you’d be the type of guy she had always dreamt of. and you don’t want to do with her what you did with all the other girls. you just want to do small things: lie next to her, run your fingers through her hair, hold her hand when she is scared of the dark. you can’t imagine the next ten, twenty years without her. you can imagine her burning dinners and loving her anyway. you can imagine her leaving the room in a mess, forgetting bills, fighting with you over small things but loving her anyway. she breezes through your life and makes you drunk, makes all the burdens lighter suddenly, she makes you free. with her, it is easy. it is being with a friend, you don’t have to impress her, she loves you just as you are. and you realize the entire world and its opinions no longer matter when you are with her, because suddenly she has become your entire world.
but it hits you then that you have let her go and now you are left sitting with a suitcase of regrets. ten years later, you will still be chasing her in every woman you’d meet. you love her.
but you’ve let her go.
-inspired by ‘let her go’ by Passenger.