you think he doesn’t love you? think again. people don’t spend an awful amount of time deliberately hurting the ones they care about, trying to convince them that they do not care. you push away the things you love most.
insecure people with little self-confidence do not think they deserve you- for whatever you do for them. they would talk themselves out of love , out of vulnerability, a million times. and they will build a protective shield of ego and pride around them though inside they still yearn you but they could never admit to even themselves that they would miss you, that they are a little bit in love with you too.
but please don’t spend an eternity trying to love a tiger. love a tiger at a distance. you cannot fix them with love. they need to want to be fixed. they should want to be changed. so don’t keep burning yourself up in the process of loving them. don’t build expectations and desires around steel hearts.
its nice to think that we can fix people but that’s a myth. don’t spend the next five, six years chasing after someone who burns you every single time you get close, and only realize this sad fact when you are chugging down bottles to forget his entire existence at 2 am. you cannot change people.
you can only show them what they are missing out on by being so closed. they’ll see your sparkly eyes and open wonder and uncontained excitement over Christmas presents. they will secretly admire at the way your laugh twinkles and then explodes into bursts of happiness, at the way that you love yourself so much despite every inch of imperfection they see that soon enough even they would have to scrutinize hard to find those imperfections. they’ll see the way you are there for people, the way you live in their hearts. they’ll see that when you walk into a room, its like magic the way the entire room lights up suddenly, with all your happiness, your laugh, your jokes, the way you are brimming and pouring over with love and love and so much love. they would quietly admire the way you seem to earn a special place in everyone’s hearts, that the reputation he has tried so hard to build and maintain by caring about what other people think is like a prison, and the one you have- when you are not even aware of what people think of you, you treat everyone with the same love and openness and non-judgment that you shower on yourself- is freedom. that when he is with you, he can be like a small child and do stupid things and forget the universe for a while and stop trying to be so perfect. with you, he is himself after a long long time and he is free.
so my dear, this is your job. love yourself so much that you are simply overflowing with joy and compassion. be excited over the smallest things. be thankful. believe in love. remain hopeful and diligent and chase after your dreams, not people. people should never be chased after: those who love you will always gravitate toward you and stay. you don’t have to convince people of your worthiness. just be there and care. the rest, is up to them.