you push away the things you love most.

you think he doesn’t love you? think again. people don’t spend an awful amount of time deliberately hurting the ones they care about, trying to convince them that they do not care. you push away the things you love most.

insecure people with little self-confidence do not think they deserve you- for whatever you do for them. they would talk themselves out of love , out of vulnerability, a million times. and they will build a protective shield of ego and pride around them though inside they still yearn you but they could never admit to even themselves that they would miss you, that they are a little bit in love with you too.

but please don’t spend an eternity trying to love a tiger. love a tiger at a distance. you cannot fix them with love. they need to want to be fixed. they should want to be changed. so don’t keep burning yourself up in the process of loving them. don’t build expectations and desires around steel hearts.

its nice to think that we can fix people but that’s a myth. don’t spend the next five, six years chasing after someone who burns you every single time you get close, and only realize this sad fact when you are chugging down bottles to forget his entire existence at 2 am. you cannot change people.

you can only show them what they are missing out on by being so closed. they’ll see your sparkly eyes and open wonder and uncontained excitement over Christmas presents. they will secretly admire at the way your laugh twinkles and then explodes into bursts of happiness, at the way that you love yourself so much despite every inch of imperfection they see that soon enough even they would have to scrutinize hard to find those imperfections. they’ll see the way you are there for people, the way you live in their hearts. they’ll see that when you walk into a room, its like magic the way the entire room lights up suddenly, with all your happiness, your laugh, your jokes, the way you are brimming and pouring over with love and love and so much love. they would quietly admire the way you seem to earn a special place in everyone’s hearts, that the reputation he has tried so hard to build and maintain by caring about what other people think is like a prison, and the one you have- when you are not even aware of what people think of you, you treat everyone with the same love and openness and non-judgment that you shower on yourself- is freedom. that when he is with you, he can be like a small child and do stupid things and forget the universe for a while and stop trying to be so perfect. with you, he is himself after a long long time and he is free.

so my dear, this is your job. love yourself so much that you are simply overflowing with joy and compassion. be excited over the smallest things. be thankful. believe in love. remain hopeful and diligent and chase after your dreams, not people. people should never be chased after: those who love you will always gravitate toward you and stay. you don’t have to convince people of your worthiness. just be there and care. the rest, is up to them.

<3.

finally:

how can these twenty-six letters
carry all the love i have for you. how do i make you feel
an inch of this gigantic universe you’ve built in me.

i miss you.
i miss you so much that it physically hurts not talking to you.

yet i do not know where to begin.
where our talks used to be carefree, long, simple, now they are
strained, soft, sad. this distance finally feels like the million miles it is,
the familiar feeling of you in the next room suddenly faded.

you used to make me laugh.

you used to say those special sacred words
and i’d beam and light up like a Christmas tree for weeks. i’d dance
listening to our favorite songs and daydream in locked rooms
and keep those words like a shrine in my heart.

i could repeat them to strangers on the street,
you are my favorite author and my best friend.

why does being in love with you hurt this much?

i just want to pack all this love i have for you in a suitcase
so this hurt doesn’t feel like it’s infiltrating, oozing into the cracks
of my soul. your words have lost their meaning, dearest.
i am not that special.

i am not the girl you miss at 2pm when you are swamped
with work. or the reason why you’d anxiously check your phone
every hour. i am not the girl you think about when a love song
comes on the radio or the girl you want to kiss more than anything
else in the world. i’m not the reason you smile to yourself
and i’m not the name that makes you tender and safe and glad.

it feels like the fuse box has gone off and now the only person
i could have depended on is the reason why i am sitting in the dark.
i miss you. and i wish my heart didn’t feel so blocked, aching and
full of words it can’t get out.

i thought i could love you from a distance without attachments
but i can’t help feeling so small and helpless and hurt. when one day
you are going to tell me about her and how you kissed her and it felt
like everything you’ve wanted in a lifetime was in those few minutes
with her, i hope i’ll be somewhere far off in a universe where
it would have felt like the ache of missing every train in my life.

maybe i need some time to get there, to the other side when i can
truly let you go. when i fell in love with you, it was for everything you were;
with every twenty six letters of the alphabet that we shared

but now it feels like i need more,
like i need more letters so you’d understand the dull aching pain
of loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

unions.

i want to protect you
from every sadness in this world; this union
between us yearns to bring back the carefree in your laugh,
longs to bring light into the crevices of your soul

this is a longing that spans skies and horizons,
in this distance that is less than a distance, let me be there
your happiness has become my happiness, your sadness suddenly mine.

this is a love more than love,
in this depth there are no words, only a familiar happiness
with you, with only you. take my hand,
know i’ll never hurt you, this heart could never hurt any of you.

there are roads and bridges and dreams
that lead nowhere, and there is you- you have become
the road, the map, the destination.

31 Things You Don’t Have To Do

Thought Catalog

YanLev / (Shutterstock.com) YanLev / (Shutterstock.com)

1.

You don’t have to hide your quirks. They make you unique.

2.

You don’t have to drink coffee, and if you do, it doesn’t have to be designer Arabica beans or a $6 latte from Starbucks.

3.

You don’t have to love a certain food because everyone else seems to love it. You can if you want, but do it for you. Not for any other reasons.

4.

You don’t have to check your phone right this minute. Remember how life was a decade ago? Whatever it is can wait.

5.

You don’t have to be the best parent, spouse, or friend, but you do have to be there when those people need you.

6.

You don’t have to love yoga or CrossFit or running. Try to be healthy, but be healthy for you. We all need to find out what works.

7.

You…

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32 Game-Changing Quotes About Love And Life That Will Make You Feel Better, Instantly

Thought Catalog

ScribeScribe


I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching they are your family.

Jim Butcher


Please know that there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self conscious. We are all full of shit. Go love someone just because, I know your heart may be badly bruised, or even the victim of numerous knifings but it will always heal even if you don’t want it to, it keeps going. There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It’s up to you to find them.

Chuck Palahniuk


Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness.

Anonymous


People don’t like love, they like that flittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love – love is sacrificial…

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